The other day a fellow student was telling me about a dream she’d had. She was heavily pregnant, despite not being pregnant the day before, but that’s dream logic for you. She visited the hospital for a check up, and coincidentally one of her friends was also due to give birth, yet she was experiencing problems with her pregnancy, so everyone was concerned for her well-being.

Upon being informed of the good health of the baby, the first girl was assured that she had plenty of time before the birth, so she left the hospital and went to buy a magazine. However, once she had left the shop, copy of Mother & Baby in hand, she suddenly went into labour in the street and gave birth within minutes to a screaming infant, presumably as morning commuters tutted at her for blocking a ‘red route’. Continue reading →

So there I was, sitting, waiting for my appearance on the BBC’s Room 101, as described in a previous post, talking about my pet hate of nonsense business buzz words. Strangely I was feeling a little nervous. How hideous would I look and how monotone would my voice sound? Would it be obvious that I had a little prompt card in my hand? I didn’t think so, but anyway, it was necessary to have that card so that I didn’t clam up and make a fool of myself. This was going out to a national audience, after all.

But then as the half hour programme progressed, I started to wonder where my appearance would fit in. The main guests were on good form, as was the host Frank Skinner, as always. So each round lasted seven minutes or so. It must have been difficult to edit the quality content.

And then came make or break time. With seven minutes left, Frank announced what had to be the final round. It wasn’t the ‘audience round’. But luckily, it took less time than previous rounds. There was still time for my moment of glory! Continue reading →

So, about that pay rise boss?

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, children singing Christian rhyme… but their parents are making fools of themselves at the office Christmas party. What is it about this time of year, that makes seemingly placid and mild-mannered colleagues, suddenly decide that it’s a good idea to drink their own weight in eggnog, before attempting to persuade their boss that they really deserve a much higher salary?

Well… because it’s Chriiistmasss! Let your hair down. If you have some. If you don’t, then why not wear a comedy wig? You have to get into the spirit now, don’t ya? If you don’t laugh at the secret santa gift that you’ve just opened, then clearly you’re just a Scrooge. Plain and simple. Why on Earth would you not find a Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo costume funny? Toilet humour and Christmas theme = win-win. I’m sure no-one will mind you wearing it in Claridges. It is Christmas, after all.

Except that it’s not. As a cost-cutting measure, also known as the ‘Scrooge principle’, your employer has decided to have the Christmas party in November. But on the plus side, at least the mince pies are free this year. Continue reading →