For those who may have missed the news, it appears that the South East of England is suffering from a drought. Stop sniggering at the back. It’s true, our green and pleasant land TM is now, it seems not so green in certain parts.
At least, that is what Thames Valley Water company would have us believe. It’s been in the news so it must be true. Those of you living outside of the UK may baulk at the suggestion that any area of the UK can possibly experience drought conditions. London records 4.9cm of rainfall per month on average, whilst Dubai has 10.7cm. Per year. And they seem to manage.
So how can this be so? Do Londoners absentmindedly forget to turn off taps? Well, you know Henry, the character from the children’s song There’s a whole in my bucket? Of course you do. Well, it seems that, now he has grown up, he is actually the CEO of Thames Valley Water. And now that he hasn’t got dear Liza to complain to for his water shortage, he is telling Londoners that they must be wantonly wasting our most precious resource. How could we?
Well, we can’t of course. The water companies seem to conveniently overlook the fact that they lose water every day. In fact, Thames Valley Water, actually loses 669.9 million litres per day! And unbelievably, they have even blamed women who shave their legs in the shower for wasting water! The bare-faced cheek… of the water company, that is, not the women.
Whilst it is true that there has been below average rainfall for some time, there is no way that the reservoirs would be lower than usual if they just fix the leaks in the pipes. Even if they don’t, and let’s face it, they won’t, they don’t seem to have noticed a rather large water source, that stretches for 215 miles and could help ease the shortage. Yes, the River Thames. It’s in the name of the damn company!
So, rather than blaming hairy women, gardeners and quite possibly fish, for their selfish use of water, how about Thames Valley Water actually refrains from insulting our collective intelligence and invests some of the hundreds of millions of pounds profits it makes every year, on upgrading its pipelines to modern-day standards?
Then we can avoid becoming a laughing stock. Or having to pipe in water from more water-rich countries… Such as Sudan. It could happen you know.