About Stewie

'Cold as a dog's nose' as a lover. Ladies, form an orderly queue.

‘Cold as a dog’s nose’ as a lover. Ladies, form an orderly queue.

Birth-2yrs: Born, two weeks premature, face first (honestly) onto this Earth in the year of our Lord one thousand, nine hundred and seventy five. Dribbled, made a mess, couldn’t walk or talk properly. Lived with parents. Had blonde hair and a breast fixation.
Had now learned how to walk, talk, have fun and be carefree. Didn’t understand girls. Now in difficult ginger phase.
5-16yrs: Went to school. Daydreamed. Too much. Had ability but should have tried harder, apparently. Afraid of girls. Hair was brown with subtle natural blonde streaks.
16-19yrs: Went to college. Tried a little harder and managed to scrape through with mediocre grades. Finally talked to some girls.
19-21yrs: Went to university through ‘clearing‘ to study Psychology. Started to work a bit harder, but not too much. Drunk a lot of beer, couldn’t walk or talk properly and dribbled a lot. Still often accused of having a breast fixation.
21-27yrs: Went between various dodgy sales jobs, earning money, having no money, moving back with parents, having money again, moving out, having no money, moving back with parents and so on and so on.
27yrs: Started a career in advertising sales to actually try to get somewhere in life. Still didn’t understand girls.
29.5yrs: Had an accident at a sports centre, broke both my arms, sued and got compensation. Blew the money on a round the world trip. Got drunk, dribbled and couldn’t walk or talk properly. Saw some memorable sights, met some nice people and had a great time.
30yrs: Moved to London to further my media sales career. Was shat on from a great height by media bosses. Nice people.
33yrs: Studied from home via the Open University to ‘refresh’ my Psychology knowledge in an effort to escape from the media sales circus.
36yrs: After a ball-breaking entrance interview, commenced studying an MSc in Forensic Psychology. Ooh! No, I can’t tell what you’re thinking. Less hair than in previous years.
38 yrs: Realised that I can’t get a job in a forensic psychology area as I don’t have experience… Back to sales then. Got married. No more dating disasters!

28 thoughts on “About Stewie

  1. I leave my embarrassments for everyone to enjoy…or not. 🙂 And yes, times are hard in Seattle. All the cute folk are disappearing with our economy.

  2. Likewise, as you can see from my blog. Shouldn’t you find out where the cute folk are going and ask them to return your economy? Seems a little selfish… By the way, I like the fact that you have posted in my ‘introducing’ section as the first and probably only comment here. I can imagine I will have to explain why HappySlut85 is replying to a comment I left on her site. Mother, close friends and family, it’s not what you think!

  3. If you know how to find them, please do tell me. I can’t even find my way around the Metro system here. Lol, yes, you read my mind. All answers on StewieJT’s page. I’m giving you more hits, you know?! Plus, I love the timeline. You drool quite a bit.

  4. your comment on my blog just made my day. Amongst other things, great blog!

  5. Glad you liked my questionnaire answers and my blog. I aim to amuse!

  6. Please tell me you filmed the confusion on the faces of the shoppers after you turned the labels round.

    • It wasn’t the shoppers who were OCD sufferers, it was the owners. I’ve never been to a shop that had displays so neatly arranged. Almost felt guilty to remove things for purchase!

  7. Stewie. New to the blogging concept, with nothing to loose but my pride at the potential of no hits, I boldly decided to create a blog. I was going to name it: This Lil’ Thing Called Life. Needless to say … I ran into your blog. Brilliant title by the way 😉 You seem to do it justice though, thanks for the laughs. You are funny. Now, unfortunately, I have to go back to pondering about a new and exciting title for my new crazy idea of starting a blog.. hmm, any suggestions?
    A future fellow blogger

    • Thanks for your comment. I nearly called it Life As We Know It and a short time after a film was released with the same title starring Mark Wahlberg. Imagine the extra traffic I could have got from people searching for info about the film! Someone has also taken A Crazy Little Thing Called Life by the way. I have no other suggestions unfortunately!

  8. I’ve had a quick tour around your site (after reading your response to a question on the forum) and I like it very much. It makes me laugh out loud and that deserves a bookmarking and (hopefully, between the 10s of other blogs I read) frequent commenting.

    All that drooling must mean you’re finding it difficult to move beyond the age of three…

    • I’m glad that you laugh out loud because, as everyone knows, if you try to hold it in, your head will explode. I’m not sure why this drooling accusation started – not guilty!

  9. Hi Stewie, just spent some time reading a bunch of your back posts and then suscribed. I dont know which I admire more.. your posts,or your comments to the commenters. I like the wit with which you write.

    • Thanks cat lady. I’m glad that you enjoyed the posts. If I ever get a cat and need advice, I’ll know where to come. 🙂

  10. Actually, I did read this when you first posted in the Showcase (or the first post I saw) and I remember thinking it was great at the time. You’ll have to forgive me, my short-term membory is totally shot at the moment due to my situation, something you will know about from a technical perspective!

  11. Thank you for stopping by! and your comment!

    I’m happy that I have a new blog to discover! You are a pleasure to read! 🙂

    • You’re welcome! That’s some praise coming from a professional journalist – thanks. 🙂

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