Another Stupid Baby Name?!

downloadYou must all have been exposed to the hilarity that was caused recently upon hearing the ‘news’ that Kanye West had chosen to call his baby North West, because it’s the highest point in the parents’ relationship and, well, it just doesn’t get any higher than ‘north’, does it? Quite right. Except that the child’s full name is North West, so it’s just ever so slightly skew-whiff of north, if we’re being pedantic. And we are Kanye, we most certainly are.http://wordpress.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif

So this got me thinking about other ridiculous and ill-thought baby names from parents who seem unable to grasp the concept that their baby will grow up to become an adult who is bitter and resentful at being named with such disregard for their feelings.

Of course there are other well-publicised celebrity baby name disasters, which I’ve noticed often fall in particular categories. There are those named after favourite fruit – Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow/Chris Martin) and Peaches (Bob Geldoff); those with lunar obsessions – Moonunit (Frank Zappa) and Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone); the place conceived (perhaps?) – Brooklyn (Beckham) and Egypt (Alicia Keys); and the just downright weird – Pilot Inspektor (actor Jason Lee) and Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette). My personal favourite name is Neville Neville (father of footballers Gary and Phil Neville). Not really a celebrity, but so good, they named him twice… possibly.

Continue reading

Advertisements

Child’s Play: BANG BANG You’re Dead

Image

Shocking news reported this week was the story of a five year old boy from Kentucky (naturally) who accidentally shot dead his two year old sister. First thoughts were that his parents must have been thoroughly irresponsible to leave their loaded gun in a place that was accessible to children. At that age kids will inevitably be curious about things.

But then it transpired that the gun that was used was actually the child’s own weapon, given to him as a present when he was four years old. Someone had actually thought it to be a good idea to give a pre-school child a .22 calibre gun.

Putting aside the debate on the right to bear arms, what rational adult thinks it’s appropriate to arm children? And then fail to supervise where and when this firearm is being used? This all makes the debates in the UK around exposing children to violence seem rather quaint. Continue reading

Top MILF Speaks Out

If you’ve arrived here via one of the many search engines out there, then I can only assume that you have an interest in an Islamist freedom fighting group based in the Philippines, as reported by Al Jazeera… Who doesn’t?

Okay, I know that’s not true. You actually have an interest in the more common definition of this acronym, don’t you? You naughty little boys. Of course you want to know about homemade fudge (Mother I’d Like Fudge). Well here’s something to get your juices flowing.

Clotted-Cream-Fudge__44735

I jest of course. When I saw a tweet from Al Jazeera mentioning an article about ‘the leader of the MILF’, it caught my attention.

Once I stopped laughing, I clicked through to discover that an Islamist insurgent group has a rather unfortunate acronym in English. How could they not know about the more common definition – have they not seen American Pie?  Continue reading

Revenge Of The Ex-Employees

hmv-tweetsLast week saw the rather amusing consequence of a poorly run company, that fails to evolve in an ever-changing market, fall into the hands of administrators who, whilst sharpening their hatchets to make the necessary job cuts, failed to notice that disgruntled employees had vented their fury via the medium of Twitter.

Of course, I am referring to the music and games retailer HMV; a company that in its wisdom presumably decided that digital downloads were a passing fad and that large high street stores made good business sense. They did well to last as long as 2013.

The tweets that quickly went viral and were picked up by the media can be seen on the left. They were of course deleted once management became aware of the bad publicity. But the damage was already done.

Much more funny than these tweets is something that I stumbled upon recently. Continue reading

White Stuff Falls From The Sky

Stay in the tracks, it's the only way to make it through!

Stay in the tracks, it’s the only way to make it through!

Drama unfolded over the past week as a rarely seen natural phenomenon occurred over much of the British Isles. It was so cold that rain actually froze and fell to earth in flakes of snow; something that has not been seen since way back. Last year sometime. But we can’t say we weren’t warned.

Weather forecasters informed us of impending doom. We should only travel “if absolutely necessary”. As a result, countless people decided against partaking in their evening hobby of driving around aimlessly in circles. It was just too dangerous. 

Then the heavens opened and the snow cometh. Parts of the west experienced blizzards with gusts up to 5mph, resulting in drifts capable of obscuring predatory polar bears, quite possibly looking for new territory due to the melting ice cap, attracted by the ‘arctic’ conditions. Understandably, faced with such dangers, schools closed. Just in case. Continue reading

The Real-Life Popeye

The launch of the new Guinness book of World Records has presented us with the bizarre sight of US-based Egyptian ‘Popeye’ Moustafa Ismail and his 31 inch biceps. If this is the first time you’ve laid eyes on his puzzling physique, I can only apologise and allow you a few seconds to swallow the little bit of vomit that you just couldn’t keep down…

Presumably Guinness check that the ‘muscles’ are actually natural, but they do look so much like implants that it makes one wonder. His triceps look especially weird as they are usually smaller muscles than biceps, yet they hang down unnaturally, like over-ripe bunches of grapes.

I would also like to go on record to dispute his world record claim Continue reading

The Strength of the Paralympians

Houssein Omar Hassan in the T46 1500m

Watching the Paralympics has been nothing short of inspiring. The Olympics motivated me to cycle like Chris Hoy in the morning commute and now the Paralympics has pushed me to step up my gym sessions, from the recent 0 to a more worthwhile 3 per week. Well, I have been on holiday.

I have to admit to being surprised by the standard of competition. No doubt helped by the sell-out crowds, paralympians have broken records and given performances that have demanded respect. These are athletes, just like the Olympic competitors, and they dedicate their lives to their sports in exactly the same way: blood, sweat and tears, through daily training. Continue reading