Dr Abdul-Malik’s Investment Opportunity

I’m well used to receiving the occasional scam email, but it was a new experience to receive not one, but two faxes from Dr Sitin Abdul-Malik, who claimed to have a wonderful investment opportunity. I ignored the first one. But then I couldn’t resist replying to the follow-up.

It read:

Continue reading

Moses and the Unquenchable Fire

Helpfully pointing out where the world is located

Moses from the New Hope Ministry posted on the WordPress forum in an effort to publicise his rather radical mission, whilst condemning non-believers. Who am I to turn down such a request from such a fair-minded and liberal individual?

Here is his interview. I’m sure you’ll agree it makes perfect sense.

Or it might confuse you. One or the other.

Your website states that ‘This site is not for dating, it is the site for the word of God’ – have people mistaken New Hope Ministry for a site that helps lonely singles? What is your opinion of people who use those sites?

(a) People ware posting dating and sexy web addresses on my blog so i decided to write down the instruction of my blog, because my blog is only for the work of God.

I think you’ll find that’s known as spam Moses. Continue reading

Another Internet Girlfriend

Eva, setting fire to a shop in the recent riots

I was thinking just recently. Maybe I shouldn’t have let my doomed relationship with Irina Fluffi and the subsequent threats from her husband Gustav put me off Internet dating. So with that in mind, I replied to a lovely email from a girl called Eva…

From: eva [mailto:aloohaeva@ymail.com]
Sent: 18 July 2011 15:01
To: stewie
Subject: how is your day? Give me please one advice.

Hello !

How is your day? How is your mood today? I hope my letter will find you in good mood.

I don’t remember where I found you. Maybe I found you at any social network or dating site… Really I don’t remember because much time has passed. But in any case I’m glad that now I can write to you. I think it’s cool to talk with someone from another country. Maybe we could share at least a few letters and get to know each other better? Continue reading

Further Discussions With The Prophet

Stop bothering me Jack, or else this lightening bolt’s for your butt!

A WordPress member and self-proclaimed messenger of God known as Apostle Jack recently reappeared on the forum for a second time, posting several topics designed to stimulate debate and promote his misguided religious cause.

I tried to resist temptation, in the true biblical sense, but this fool deserved to be mocked for spamming the forum to spread his twisted beliefs and delusions of grandeur.

What follows are four separate topics, each neatly headed by Apostle Jack himself.


Aug 7, 2011, 4:41 PM

If you had to,would you change your opinion about your faith.I have witness the turn around and conversion of many people,some of whom said they never would.Some will never know until they meet the bear in the alley.Some will hear about it and never take that route…..and some refuse to be told.And then there is.. THE WISE:…those that go around what others have to go through and suffer. Continue reading

I Reply To A Car Sale Scam

Having heard of scammers targeting online car sales sites, I was only too happy to dust down the spamfighting cape and spring into action!

The mission: to raise false hopes and irritate.

From: james wright [mailto:jmswrght25@googlemail.com]
Sent: 30 June 2011 10:52
To: stewie
Subject: BMW 3 SERIES 325i SE 4dr Saloon £2795 (9 miles)

Dear Seller,

I saw you Car advert on the internet website for sale and am interested in buying it. So i will like you to kindly get back to me soonest with the details of the Car below:-

*Present condition
*Last asking price
*Current Pictures

And Method of payment is Bank Draft. If you’re satisfied kindly get back to me for further arrangements. Continue reading

Threatened By Irina Fluffi’s Husband!

Irina Fluffi (right), Gustav Fluffi in the middle?

This won’t any make sense unless you have previously read My New Russian Internet Girlfriend. I recently received this unexpected threatening email from my Russian cyber girlfriend’s husband! His English is even worse than Irina’s. I guess he must have an older version of an auto-translator program on his PC… This must have come from the same source as it was sent to my work email address like the original spam email, even though I replied via my Hotmail account. Weird.

From: Gustav Fluffy [mailto:gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 11 April 2011 17:01
To: stewie
Subject: Why to play games with my woman

To this stewie,

I have in mind you speak with my woman and this my wife woman. You come to Russia and fight like man in army war for woman love.

Gustav Continue reading

My New Russian Internet Girlfriend

Is that sap or are you just pleased to see me?

I Fight Spam With Spam

Recently I received spam from Russia from a girl looking for love with an Englishman. I love a foreign girl. Especially one who is a calculating spammer, looking to prey on vulnerable, gullible and lonely men. So I replied to see how long I could ‘cyber-date’ her for, dropping subtle and not so subtle hints with each message that would lead a genuine person in to thinking that I’m a complete psychopath to be avoided. This post is a nice accompaniment to My Revenge On An Email Hacker published last year. Let’s play a game!

From: irinafluffi@rambler.ru
Sent: 17 March 2011 14:47
To: stewie
Subject: Hi

Hello. My name is Irina. To me of 28 years. I search here for the man to create serious relations in the future. I shall be very glad if we with you will start to learn each other better. In my following letter I shall write to you more information on me. I have applied my pictures on this letter. I shall wait for your answer. Irina Continue reading