Irina Fluffi (right), Gustav Fluffi in the middle?
This won’t any make sense unless you have previously read My New Russian Internet Girlfriend. I recently received this unexpected threatening email from my Russian cyber girlfriend’s husband! His English is even worse than Irina’s. I guess he must have an older version of an auto-translator program on his PC… This must have come from the same source as it was sent to my work email address like the original spam email, even though I replied via my Hotmail account. Weird.
From: Gustav Fluffy [mailto:gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk]
Sent: 11 April 2011 17:01
To: stewie
Subject: Why to play games with my woman
To this stewie,
I have in mind you speak with my woman and this my wife woman. You come to Russia and fight like man in army war for woman love.
Gustav
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From: stewie
To: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Mon, 11 Apr 2011 16:19:00
To this Gustav
Irina contacted me first, so she must be desperate to leave you! Your threats don’t worry me. I will be happy to fly to Russia to fight like man in army war for woman love. I’m not afraid to play Russian roulette. I must warn you that I have experience in happy slapping as a youth.
Don’t take out your anger on Irina as she is a sweet girl. You brought this on yourself.
I will go inside to the house now.
Stewie
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From: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
To: stewie
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:02:40
Stewie
I await your massage for invite to come to Russia.You leaving me no choises and play many games with my woman wife like roullette.
How you know Irina sweet darlings? Where your house is I know in Engerland.
Fight like man for my woman.
Gustav
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From: stewie
To: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:19:41
Irina is the only one who I would invite for a massage! I told you that she contacted me first. Of course I replied like any man would. When I saw the photograph of Irina hugging a tree, I wished that I could grow roots and plant myself in a forest!
I’ve checked flights to Cheboksary and it is too far, plus Easy Jet don’t fly there. But anyway, you ask about my house in the UK and you use a UK email address, so what do you want from me? Can you come here?
I am prepared to fight like man for woman love.
Stewie
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From: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
To: stewie
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:13:33
To stewie
I am so very sad we get so far in war time but you no commitment to my Irena? So you still play games with woman. See I know you from Landon but not so strong like me. I will come to you in your country and we will make this war.
Gustav
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From: stewie
To: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Wed, 13 Apr 2011 14:18:54
You are using an email address with the .co.uk suffix, so are you not already in the UK? Why do you want me to commit to Irina – is she not your wife now? I am confused about what you want from me. Please explain.
Regarding the war, Tuesdays are good days for me.
Stewie
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From: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
To: stewie
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2011 11:54:06
I will come to you Tuesday from Russia. I know Landon streets. We can make war for Irina. She does not want you.
Gustav
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From: stewie
To: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2011 13:52:52
Okay, CU Next Tuesday. Wear a bearskin hat so that I can recognise you. Don’t bring any polonium with you as that’s cheating.
Stewie
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From: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
To: stewie
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2011 14:24:27
Stewie I no play with Polonium dirty games. I like fighting. You see muscles on photo for Facebook? [he sent me a friend request on Facebook – yes, okay I admit I didn’t cover my tracks very well, but I’m not a professional like Gustav]
To: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2011 14:30:03
To: stewie
Subject: RE: Why to play games with my woman
Date: Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:16:39
So the battle is on. I’ll let you know how it goes!
Huahuahuaha! Once while visiting my grampa as a teen, we went to the grocery store. I had to leave his side. I thought to myself, “i’ll just memorize his fuzzy hat so I can find him again.” Yeah I had a rude awakening, when it came time to find him. Every old man in the store had a fuzzy bearskin hat! I was bewildered.
What, so are you saying your Grampa is Gustav? Are you Sara Fluffi? As you love cats that would seem apt.
What?!! hahahah No. It is my opinion that Russia has two types of women in general. The Hot skinny types often named names like Natasha. And the Burly, rolling pin wielding types often called, Olga, or as in your case; Fluffy’
Yeah, she did look like a natasha, hugging that tree. But the flower garden picture quickly disprooved That idea. I like to think Im from the natasha catagory even though all my cats are fluffy. Im not her.
Perhaps her father is the ‘Walrus?’ and this in turn would explain the Uk address.
Easy Jet don’t fly there – love it! Landon – where’s that? Sounds like he talks like a cockney.
Landon is in Engerland as Gustav says.
V funny, can you post the fight on You Tube ?
Best for me is Tuesday, Wednesday And Thursdays!
I’m negotiating with ESPN.
This is classic. I hear Tuesdays bode well with the gods. Keep it going, don’t get shanked.
Is it too late to put some money on gustav for the win?
Yes, it is too late. He never appeared. What a surprise…
Probably because you declined that massage he wanted…LOL.
He said he was coming to the Royal Wedding for the fight – see https://thislittlethingcalledlife.com/2011/04/29/royal-wedding-early-morning-report/ – but he didn’t turn up then either…
He’s a true e-thug all right.
A dead ringer!
Hilarious 🙂
He gave a good fight 🙂