1. It’s a medical fact that Florence, from Florence and the Machine fame, is 90% legs. True or false?
2. Legendary ‘monkey man’ Liam Gallagher from Oasis was tested by anthropologists who were investigating a missing link between early homo-sapiens and an offshoot evolutionary group called homo-mancunians. True or false?
3. The Prodigy’s Keith Flint was investigated by animal protection enforcement over claims that he smacked his female labrador. True or false?
4. It’s a medical fact that Shane McGowan from The Pogues has less teeth than an 11 month old infant, and he once set accidentally fire to the tartar on his remaining teeth on a Christmas eve in New York when he downed a flaming sambuca. True or false?
5. It’s a medical fact that Donny Osmond has more teeth than a floridian alligator and his family tree can be traced back directly to the time of Jesus and the disciples. True or false?
6. The English countryside-dwelling Madonna’s thighs each weigh more than a baby elephant and she currently holds the record for consecutive walnut cracking from between her butt cheeks in the annual West Country championship. True or false?
7. Cheryl Cole’s recent hit ‘Fight For Your Love’ is the story of her battle with ex-husband Ashley over his desire to convert to Islam and engage in polygamous marital practices with 50 wives consecutively (with two weeks off for a pre-season break). True or false?
8. As the Black Eyed Peas claimed, ‘If you only have love for your own race, then you only leave space to discriminate, and to discriminate only generates hate’. True or false?
9. ‘… and if you hate you’re bound to get irate’. True or false?
10. Prince recently changed his name to @1 by deed poll in a reference to his perceived spiritual well-being but, on a night out to celebrate his new album being given away free in the Mirror newspaper, he asked for all the gnomes to be removed from a pub garden as they obstructed his view of his little red corvette. True or false?
1. False. Florence is actually 85% legs, 5% ginger hair and 5% other body parts.
2. Tr.. Okay, they’re all actually false, except 8 and 9. I would never question the wisdom of the Black Eyed Peas.
True? False? Who cares! The music world is so far off the scale that some of these could well be true – I’d believe it!
It would be great if these were all true! 🙂