My Girlfriend’s Gay Best Friend

100% gay. Quite possibly 100% stalker too

I’d been seeing my girlfriend for a few months and things were going okay. Nothing earth moving… but then if I wanted that I’d rent a small JCB. As I love travel, it seemed a great idea for me to suggest a holiday with my girlfriend, especially as we found it hard to spend enough quality time alone together. We opted for the sun, sea and superb nightlife of Ibiza, one of Spain’s Balearic islands.

The plans were left open. There was no reason why we couldn’t invite others. A group holiday would be fun. So I sent out some Facebook invites and left her to speak to her friends, whilst I went on a pre-planned trip to Iceland. She had some concerns about whether she could afford it, but I thought that wouldn’t be a problem.

Whilst I was mid-way through the road trip in Iceland, I received a text message. It was from my girlfriend and she had some news for me. Her best friend, a man who enjoys bromance, had surprised her with an all expenses paid holiday, just the two of them… to Ibiza. How nice of him.

She reassured me that he had promised to send her details of the hotel and flights, so that I could tag along. But I wondered, how would that work? A room for three? Hardly allowing us time alone. Us together with him in a single room? That would cost him more. Me on my own? That would just be ridiculous!

I wasn’t at all comfortable with this situation. Of course, I wanted my girlfriend to have a holiday without worrying about the money, but not if I wasn’t there! It all seemed a little weird. Just exactly how gay is this friend? Apparently, 100% was the answer, according to my girlfriend. But it certainly seemed like he was competing with me for her attention. And even more so, when it soon became apparent that he had absolutely no intention of sending me the booking information. Why did he want her all to himself?

What could I do? He’d taken my idea and stolen my thunder whilst I was out of the country. I realised that there was nothing that I could do. If my girlfriend was happy to take the freebie, then I wouldn’t feel comfortable insisting on going and having to pretend to enjoy the company of her conniving friend. I’d competed for a girl with a gay man… and lost! That really is rock bottom.

Clearly the writing was on the wall for the relationship. My girlfriend had been offered a job in Australia and she wanted to take it. I have that effect on women. When they returned from Ibiza, I never saw the gay best friend again. No, I didn’t hire a hit man. Strangely, he wasn’t available for social occasions when I would be there.

When she finalised her move to Melbourne, my ‘girlfriend’ told me that her friend  had started applying for jobs in Oz too. And he didn’t stop there. He wanted to houseshare with her! Sorry, how gay did you say he was? The man was obsessed.

Needless to say the relationship petered out to nothing. Clearly it was the best thing for her to move away and take her gay best friend with her (like she had a choice!). I’d always thought the guy had issues. Every time we saw him he bitched about everyone he knew. If my ex-girlfriend wanted to be around someone like him, then more fool her.

I’m just glad that not every girl comes accompanied by a gay man with emotional baggage. Dating is hard enough without a love triangle tug-o-war. But then, where would I be without my dating disasters!

7 thoughts on “My Girlfriend’s Gay Best Friend

  1. Man, where do you even get these stories?! Nothing nearly this insane/exciting/ridiculous has happened in my dating life!

  2. I think the only issue here is your extreme case of homophobia. If her best friend had been a female you wouldn’t think anything of it.

    • Sure, I’m really homophobic – that’s why I had gay friends at my wedding. I think your issue is being judgemental. The guy in this story is a gossiping, two-faced unpleasant person. His sexuality is completely irrelevant.

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