So… Why Are You Single?

Another day, another date and it all seemed to be going very well. But in life’s myriad of social interactions there are some questions that you just don’t ask. Just like demanding to know who has farted in the lift, or seeing an ugly baby and asking if it’s a boy or a girl, you shouldn’t go on a date and ask someone why he or she is single. Why not just shout “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?”, slap me across the face and call me a freak whilst you’re at it, to really make me feel all snugly inside?

And anyway, it takes two to tango, as they say. So, after replying that my date should “… ask the women of London” to find out the answer, I batted the same question straight back at her. In your face girl! No, she didn’t admit that she was in fact single because she asks too many inappropriate questions, she was just too busy, apparently. Comforting to know.

What did she honestly expect me to say? Maybe that I’m too picky? Hardly. I’m really not fussy. Okay, so there are a few characteristics that I tend to avoid. Admittedly, I am likely to avoid a girl with tattoos of her ex-boyfriend in an intimate area. They’re a tad off-putting and I’d be worried about a hulk of a man nicknamed ‘Bulldog’ breaking down my door one day to reclaim his ‘little poodle’.

Or a girl with arms that are hairier than mine. Or one with fat ankles. Or a girl who seems to have trouble synching activity between areas of her brain. Surely it’s reasonable to expect a potential partner to have a rudimentary knowledge of the world we live in. She has to realise that Gaddafi is not a cartoon duck often seen alongside Bugs Bunny, right?

I also find it hard to date a girl who doesn’t drink. No-one likes to drink alone, so I am hoping that the recent increase in availability of fruit flavoured beers and pear cider will help to cure teetotallers. Surely, they’ll like the taste of those drinks?

So, how did the date go? Well, I’ve had worse. But putting someone you’ve just met on the spot with an awkward question is never a good start. At least she didn’t come straight out and ask me how many people I’d slept with. Now that would have been inappropriate! After a rocky start, we did find some common ground, but suffice to say, it was not meant to happen. Again.

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22 thoughts on “So… Why Are You Single?

  1. Each person has his/her own preferences.. that’s natural. But don’t kick out a girl just because she asked the question ” why are you still single” . Maybe she’s just naturally curious. (^o^)

  2. How strange? Like ‘let me show you my collection of caterpillars’ strange or sudden transformation into a different creature altogether strange? xD I kid, it is strange when you’re expecting a certain stereotype regarding a person and they’re totally different. Or when they bombard you with too-personal questions that you can’t really answer when you’re out in public.

    So I guess that’s the answer to your question ‘Why are you Single?’ It’s because I’m hopelessly searching for someone like me and the only time I’d probably meet that person is when my own reflection comes out of the mirror. -_-‘

    • How strange did she become? Well, we talked about my blog and she feigned interest, so I sent her a link. She took offence at this, saying: “I will pass on that. If I went on a second date with you, it would be because you asked me, not based on your blogging abiliites”! She couldn’t even be bothered to click her mouse a couple of times. Surely the implication was there that I wanted to see her again? Not that I was particularly bothered though…

  3. Dating is hazardous these days, especially with the rise of teh “modern woman” who secretly want to be taken care of but wont accept it (??) all very confusing and tiring, I totally sympathise with you guys. To be fair though, she does sound like a complete “crazy” ( who I hope hasnt suddenly found an interest in this blog and is reading this post!) so your better off without. But the question begs…when do we get too old to “jump to the dump” over one comment?

    • I would never dump someone over one comment, except extreme viewpoints or threats! She definitely won’t be reading this, don’t worry.

  4. Lol,

    I’ve noticed that women do seem VERY quick to “switch off” after hearing one answer they don’t like. It seems that they are mentally ticking check boxes in their heads & the first “wrong” answer is an immediate “Game Over”!

    When your date said she’s been too busy to meet anyone, how did she find the time to meet you?! This too busy comment basically says to me, “I’m not really interested in meeting someone for anything serious, I’m just browsing”. Either that or the real answer is “I haven’t met anyone I fancied enough yet”.

    I am often being asked why I’m single…….usually by the same women that tell me I’m lovely, but not their type. So, the accurate answer to this question would seem to be “because I’m not good looking enough”, but how many think that is a good response?!!!

    • There’s no excuse for asking such a dumb question. They should turn the same question at themselves first.

  5. Hm…this actually got me thinking about giving out the blog link…I don’t date right now, but I would probably wait a few dates before sending someone to H&A. You can learn so much from a blog, I wonder if I would be giving the dude an unfair advantage/ worry about him judging for not being smart-witty-interesting enough (or loving beer too much)/ generally feeling over-exposed. Food for thought…

  6. Well, so far, the blog makes you look sharp and funny, and both are pluses! But I havent gone through ALL the archives yet… 😉

    • I do have a girlfriend currently, but I met her in a bar! Much prefer that to online dating.

      • Hm, people talk about this bar business…I had never met a bf or even anyone I’ve gone on more than 1 date with at a bar. Either online or thru friends/friends’ parties or through work-related social events. I’m being told that I should do the bar thing in Moscow but I just dont know how – I mean, I go to have a pint, that’s it!

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