Category Archives: Random Rants

Death To Media-Speak

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I’ve been working in the media industry for eight years now. How in God’s name did that happen? I find it mind-numbing in its repetitiveness and all round pretentiousness. If it isn’t colleagues who spend most of the day running into meetings to discuss what-we-discussed-at-the-last-meeting, then it’s media agency idiots who only spend budget with businesses who have taken them out to lavish restaurants or given them other bribes ‘gifts’. And there was me thinking that they might use their positions as media ‘experts’ to analyse all the options for their clients before spending the budgets wisely.

But what really grates with me the most, is the nonsense media jargon that spews forth from people’s mouths, seemingly bypassing their grey matter on the expressway of monotony and repeated, mantra-like, by everyone else as if all other words are banned Continue reading →

Metrosexuals – What Are They For?

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What is it with so-called ‘metrosexuals’? For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term it is not, as you may think, people who are sexually aroused whilst travelling on the paris subway network. It does in fact refer to men whose displays are stereotypicallyassociated with homosexual men (such as a strong concern for appearance), although they are not homosexual, according to the font of all knowledge, Wikipedia. Apparently a metrosexual’s sexual orientation is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. So there you have it. Call me old-fashioned but what use is a person who exudes such vanity?

In heterosexual culture, what is wrong with a man being a man and a woman being a woman, in the more traditional sense? I’m not suggesting a throwback to the roles and values of the 1950s, when ladies were expected to ride horses side-saddle and men were so masculine that they had to shave twice a day. I just think that metrosexuals have got it all wrong.  Continue reading →

Madonna: Please Stop Wearing Skimpy Outfits

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The testosterone supplements worked wonders

Everyone admires at least some of Madonna’s work, so she should take this as advice from a concerned friend. However, I’ve grown tired of watching her prance around in next to nothing in her videos whilst I’m working out at the gym. I am forced to watch as there is nothing else to look at.

Madge, you’re turning into Cher with each passing year. What’s with the ‘cheese cutter’ leotard you wear in the ‘Hung Up’ video? No-one needs to see that shit.

You obviously spend a lot of time down the gym, and good on ya for that, but please dress more appropriately for a woman in her 50s.

Save your bulging muscles for your partner’s eyes, or possibly for a body building contest, should you encounter a creative ‘dry patch’ and need another interest. Hell, I’m quite sure that if you were to challenge me to an arm wrestle, then you would beat me hands down. That’s not a good thing. Continue reading →

Rise Up Against Nauseating Adverts

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I’ve had enough of excruciatingly bad, but unfortunately memorable ads. It came to a head during the coverage of the recent World Cup from Saaf Afreeca, when we all had no choice but to watch just a couple more ads squeezed in between the players’ mumbled tone deaf singing of their national anthems (and the North Koreans crying at the thought of representing their ‘honourable’ leader and star of Team America, Kim Jong-Il) and match kick-off. Or in the case of ITV HD viewers, after kick-off and during England’s goal against the US, thereby depriving viewers of the sight of England’s best goal of the tournament.

The worst ad has to be Toyota’s over-long assault on rational thinking. ‘Your Toyota is my Toyota’. NO IT’S NOT! What the hell are you talking about? My Toyota is for my use only, it’s not part of a car share agreement with the general public. You can do what you like with your Toyota, but leave mine out of it. Or maybe that’s what is written in the small print? Damn, should really read that. Continue reading →