I’ve had enough of excruciatingly bad, but unfortunately memorable ads. It came to a head during the coverage of the recent World Cup from Saaf Afreeca, when we all had no choice but to watch just a couple more ads squeezed in between the players’ mumbled tone deaf singing of their national anthems (and the North Koreans crying at the thought of representing their ‘honourable’ leader and star of Team America, Kim Jong-Il) and match kick-off. Or in the case of ITV HD viewers, after kick-off and during England’s goal against the US, thereby depriving viewers of the sight of England’s best goal of the tournament.

The worst ad has to be Toyota’s over-long assault on rational thinking. ‘Your Toyota is my Toyota’. NO IT’S NOT! What the hell are you talking about? My Toyota is for my use only, it’s not part of a car share agreement with the general public. You can do what you like with your Toyota, but leave mine out of it. Or maybe that’s what is written in the small print? Damn, should really read that. This really is a case of ‘blue sky thinking’ from some pretentious media agency at it’s worst. What I was hoping for was for the next Johannesburg car-jacking to involve a Toyota. What publicity!

Driver: “What are you doing?”

Thief: “I’m taking this, get out of the car. Your Toyota is my Toyota.”

Next there is that bloody awful Microsoft Windows ad. I’m so-and-so and I’m a PC. What? A police constable? I thought you said you were a graphic designer? I can’t understand why they feature so many different PCs. Surely police constables spend far more time fighting crime and eating donuts than using a computer, so why use them in a Microsoft commercial? It makes no sense…

Whilst I think that the Compare the Market use of meerkats is a piece of genius marketing, it doesn’t make it any less irritating. And does anyone else want to kill the opera singer from the Go Compare ad? In fact, his random singing horrifies me so much that I am paranoid of any fat men with moustaches that I see on public transport. I won’t sit next to them, just in case…

Lastly, do you own any gold or jewellery? Well, guess what, it has some value! There we all were, thinking that our gold was worthless, when along comes Money For Gold, telling us to send in our valuables and they will send us a cheque for a fraction of its market value in return. Well, that will save us all a visit to the local pawnbrokers who will give us the true value. That’s a relief.

The only solution is to rise up and reclaim our televisions! Boycott products from these mind-numbing adverts – we can make a difference!