I recently learned a new term: ‘rinsing’. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with cleaning things. It is in fact the word that is used to describe women who manipulate men to receive gifts. Their number one rule is that there is no sex in the equation. Not that the men tend to realise this.
A documentary followed three such rinsers as they went about their daily routine. Jeanette justified herself by saying that she does “… favours for her friends, but doesn’t expect sex in return”. She is pictured trying on some garish orange Jimmy Choo shoes, on sale for £425. “I need them” she claims, whilst posting a photograph of them on to a social network, to give a hint to prospective gift buyers.
Hollie said that if she doesn’t receive presents from a man, then she “… has no need for that friend. They date me for my appearance so it’s a fair trade.” So, she seems to believe that her radiant beauty is enough payback for someone who has spent hundreds of pounds on gifts for her, in the mistaken belief that he stands a chance of starting a relationship with her. If you say so Hollie.
The final woman is a little different to the others, in that she is a successful model with 22,000 Twitter followers. She describes herself as an entrepreneur and claims to have been given £20,000 in gifts in the last six months. Whilst she does ask for gifts from her admirers, she never meets any of them. So, in contrast to the others, there are clear boundaries that both parties are aware of. Clearly, most men would realise that it’s unlikely that they could ever meet a top model. She’s just a fantasy figure; a social media rinser. Plus she does provide a service with exclusive photo shoots and videos.
But it seems that other rinsers are not so transparent with their boundaries. If they were, then it seems unlikely that the deception of these predatory rinsers would work, and men would lavish them with gifts. The whole point of the hustle is to make men believe that they have a chance at winning the girl’s heart. The men consider nights out as dates, yet Hollie argues that she considers them to be “… more like business meetings”. She “… doesn’t try to lead them on and would feel sorry for them if they fall in love with her”. You and me both.
Both Jeanette and Hollie shower men with insincere compliments and think nothing of lying to engineer a new gift. “I lost my Rolex at Christmas”, said Jeanette, before admitting that it was safe at home. Jeanette even tried her hand at transatlantic rinsing, snaring an unsuspecting New Yorker, who paid for her plane ticket and a shopping spree, only to find that his attempts at affection were snubbed, leading to a falling out between them. Even then, Jeanette tried to manipulate him to buy her more gifts to make up for their argument!
There seems to be several issues here: what makes these rinsers so materialistic, why do they have such a sense of entitlement, and why do they have such little respect for men? In a quiet moment of reflection, both Hollie and Jeanette admitted that they had problems growing up, having experienced financial hardship, family problems and bullying. Hollie’s mother has a simple philosophy on life: “Take what you can, give nothing back.” What a shining role model.
It seems that these women have given little thought to what will happen when their looks fade as they grow older, presumably because they believe that ageing can be kept at bay with cosmetic surgery. Hollie claims that any woman can be a rinser and is currently writing a guide to gold digging book, to advise potential new rinsers on how to deceive gullible men. This coming from a girl whose income is not consistent enough yet, so she still has to walk around on stilts to promote a local nightclub.
Rinsers are caught in a perpetual cycle of wanting more attention and gifts, to make up for a childhood lacking in enough of either. They have the emotional scars of being the underdog, so they want to turn the tables for what they see as payback. What they fail to consider is that it’s not payback. These men haven’t done anything to them. All these predatory rinsers are doing is taking advantage of lonely and gullible men, which shouldn’t be something to make them feel good about themselves. If the height of their ambition is to get one over hapless men, then that is truly a sad lack of ambition and a bitter view of life.
They say that they have no time or need for a relationship with a man. Yet genuine love from a partner who cares and respects them is exactly what they need. But they avoid this like the plague for fear of being hurt.They have no trust in men. So they look for a short-term materialistic fix to make them feel good. And the cycle goes on…
Personally I call these types Crafty Prostitutes.
They get the goods without giving up “the goods”. I’ve known several, one for over 20 years.
Rough life and all can make one “do what ya gotta do” but there is a difference between looking out for oneself and treating people like walking ATM machines.
I have exactly 0% respect for this kind of behavior.
There are those who came up in a hard life. Dirt poor, abused, ect .. and I understand having “good provider” as a pre-requisite when choosing relationships and needing real attention.
I have known many of that type as well and have great respect for them as they try to find happiness and sense of belonging and love.
However what these insults to womankind, no matter what cute term they choose to call themselves, do is nothing more than use and abuse everyone they can for their own personal benefit.
They degrade the image of those who are simply trying to be careful with their hearts and their livelihoods and make them all look like heartless gold-diggers.
Those who don’t bother trying to understand the difference are just as much to blame, simply assuming that a woman that doesn’t “put out” is a user, makes the Real Men in this world look bad.
Thanks for your comment – very well argued.
Oh good lord! These poor girls with no confidence. “When I grow up I wanna be a rinser!” I hope my three nieces have enough self-confidence and pride to never do this!
They claim to have confidence and they don’t seem to be lacking any. They boost their egos by duping men and they use a twisted logic to justify it.
They have no self confidence, it’s all just an act. Deep down they wish for other things in their lives but only know this. It’s sad.
Yes, I guess that’s true. It’s self-esteem that they are lacking the most.
Hi Stewie, I do admit these girls are bottom feeders, but still men should be able to see through this scam.
Sometimes if a guy is too kind-hearted it makes him naive, which makes it even More despicable to treat them that way.
Other times a guy know’s or perhaps suspects and his bloody Male Ego get’s in the way, which personally I say in that case, “best of luck pal”
I’ve been both those types, I can only give empathy to the nice ones that are blinded by their own emotional generosity.
The Egocentric cases, their just idiots.
Well William, I hope you were kind hearted and naive only once, lol
I’ve learn to set a “bet limit” as one friend called it. I give Only as much as I’m willing to write off as a loss until I really know what I’m getting into.
Not as far as I’ll go to get “lucky” … lol … jus how far I’ll go until I know if their really someone I would at the least want to call a friend.
Hi william, sounds like you practice non-attachment, it’s the only way to enlightenment
Hi Suzzy – I think that most of them probably do see through rinsers within a fairly short time, but not before they’ve wasted time and money. Then the rinsers are off to look for their next victim.
I really enjoyed reading this, it was really interesting. I saw the program advertised, I just never watched it. It’s certainly an intruiging way to live, I don’t think I could do it though, I’m just not materialistic enough! I might be swayed slightly if someone promised me a llama farm, however. I’m a bit strange like that.
Yes, a llama farm is a little odd as a choice. 😉
So pathetic. Try imagine these “girls” 20-30 yrs. from now, engaging in the same manipulative game. What these men don’t realize some of these gals talk it up for a laugh at their next get-together over a couple of drinks.
I think these women just expect to be given the gift of cosmetic surgery to defeat the signs of aging!
These women are awful. Something about people with a a grand sense of entitlement really bother me.
Good read though, thanks!
Couldn’t agree more. Thanks for your comment!
Very interesting article. Thanks for sharing. Yes, they are bad girls, but they are pretty skillful and talented too! And finally, everyone has a choice. The fools that let themselves get rinsed have free will. No one is pointing a gun at their head. I suspect they enjoy ‘living the dream’ to some extent. It is not THAT easy to get duped. Is it?
Yes, I agree that the men have to take some responsibility for their own actions. But I guess some are just lonely and gullible.