I recently learned a new term: ‘rinsing’. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with cleaning things. It is in fact the word that is used to describe women who manipulate men to receive gifts. Their number one rule is that there is no sex in the equation. Not that the men tend to realise this.
A documentary followed three such rinsers as they went about their daily routine. Jeanette justified herself by saying that she does “… favours for her friends, but doesn’t expect sex in return”. She is pictured trying on some garish orange Jimmy Choo shoes, on sale for £425. “I need them” she claims, whilst posting a photograph of them on to a social network, to give a hint to prospective gift buyers.
Hollie said that if she doesn’t receive presents from a man, then she “… has no need for that friend. They date me for my appearance so it’s a fair trade.” So, she seems to believe that her radiant beauty is enough payback for someone who has spent hundreds of pounds on gifts for her, in the mistaken belief that he stands a chance of starting a relationship with her. If you say so Hollie.
The final woman is a little different to the others, in that she is a successful model with 22,000 Twitter followers. She describes herself as an entrepreneur and claims to have been given £20,000 in gifts in the last six months. Whilst she does ask for gifts from her admirers, she never meets any of them. So, in contrast to the others, there are clear boundaries that both parties are aware of. Clearly, most men would realise that it’s unlikely that they could ever meet a top model. She’s just a fantasy figure; a social media rinser. Plus she does provide a service with exclusive photo shoots and videos.
But it seems that other rinsers are not so transparent with their boundaries. If they were, then it seems unlikely that the deception of these predatory rinsers would work, and men would lavish them with gifts. The whole point of the hustle is to make men believe that they have a chance at winning the girl’s heart. The men consider nights out as dates, yet Hollie argues that she considers them to be “… more like business meetings”. She “… doesn’t try to lead them on and would feel sorry for them if they fall in love with her”. You and me both.
Both Jeanette and Hollie shower men with insincere compliments and think nothing of lying to engineer a new gift. “I lost my Rolex at Christmas”, said Jeanette, before admitting that it was safe at home. Jeanette even tried her hand at transatlantic rinsing, snaring an unsuspecting New Yorker, who paid for her plane ticket and a shopping spree, only to find that his attempts at affection were snubbed, leading to a falling out between them. Even then, Jeanette tried to manipulate him to buy her more gifts to make up for their argument!
There seems to be several issues here: what makes these rinsers so materialistic, why do they have such a sense of entitlement, and why do they have such little respect for men? In a quiet moment of reflection, both Hollie and Jeanette admitted that they had problems growing up, having experienced financial hardship, family problems and bullying. Hollie’s mother has a simple philosophy on life: “Take what you can, give nothing back.” What a shining role model.
It seems that these women have given little thought to what will happen when their looks fade as they grow older, presumably because they believe that ageing can be kept at bay with cosmetic surgery. Hollie claims that any woman can be a rinser and is currently writing a guide to gold digging book, to advise potential new rinsers on how to deceive gullible men. This coming from a girl whose income is not consistent enough yet, so she still has to walk around on stilts to promote a local nightclub.
Rinsers are caught in a perpetual cycle of wanting more attention and gifts, to make up for a childhood lacking in enough of either. They have the emotional scars of being the underdog, so they want to turn the tables for what they see as payback. What they fail to consider is that it’s not payback. These men haven’t done anything to them. All these predatory rinsers are doing is taking advantage of lonely and gullible men, which shouldn’t be something to make them feel good about themselves. If the height of their ambition is to get one over hapless men, then that is truly a sad lack of ambition and a bitter view of life.
They say that they have no time or need for a relationship with a man. Yet genuine love from a partner who cares and respects them is exactly what they need. But they avoid this like the plague for fear of being hurt.They have no trust in men. So they look for a short-term materialistic fix to make them feel good. And the cycle goes on…