Tour of South India – Hampi and Bangalore

“You don’t have a girlfriend?!” Not again. This is starting to irk me. “Ha ha this must be some kind of joke!” No, it’s not. “Do you not like girls?” Yes, I do. “But you are handsome.” So I keep hearing. “Ha ha. Why no girlfriend?” Ha Ha back. Okay, I’m tired of this now. Unfortunately I was a captive audience for the taxi driver taking me to the overnight bus travelling inland from Goa to Hampi.

I had a terrible sense of foreboding about this trip. Sure, I had booked what was called a ‘bed’, but this is India, so I was worried that there would be three of us stretched across two beds or some other hassle. The other passengers were a mix of tourists and locals, including a party of fourteen Koreans, one of whom had taken the bed next to mine. Continue reading →

Tour of South India – Mumbai and Goa

No, that's fine, you finish it. Thief.

I finally left the hell hole of Delhi, before losing my sanity, although not without more hassle; this time a long delay to my flight. Never mind, I’m sure this is a one-off, I thought. Surely there is nowhere in India that sharply demonstrates the chasm between rich and poor than Mumbai, optimistically referred to as ‘India’s Big Apple’. In your dreams. Rotten apple, more like. 55% of the population live in slums and that doesn’t take into account those who live on the streets. Having said that, it is still an improvement on Delhi, being slightly less hectic and with some interesting colonial architecture.

Not that I saw much of it, as I was still suffering from Delhi Belly and finding walking too much of an exertion, Continue reading →

Around the World Trip – USA (part 3)

No, unfortunately, the title doesn’t mean I met Donald Duck’s nephews… Next stop after a mere 17 hour train journey was Kansas City, a town with little options for budget accommodation. Never mind I thought, at least I can take advantage of my own hotel room and catch up on some sleep. WRONG! There was essential roof maintenance meaning lots of banging, drilling etc. The people in KC seem a little strange. Firstly, the receptionist asked me if one room key would be enough (huh?!) and then told me there was a package for me (it was addressed to someone with the surname Brittain and she remembered I had Britain on my passport – oh dear!). When I went out for pizza the waitress said “Aaah” when I spoke. They really do like my accent here, should be interesting tonight, I thought. WRONG! Continue reading →

Seals in San Francisco. God, they smelt so bad

Around The World Trip: USA (part 2)

Next stop was San Francisco, after a long train journey in which I had to endure a bloke hocking back the snot in his nose every 15 minutes, before an icy cold stare from myself seemed to dry up all of his mucus-related problems in one hit. Who needs Tunes? On ‘de-training’ in SF the same man said to me “Like your hat”, referring to my tatty baseball cap. Too late for niceties you suck-up. Eew, disgusting habit…

After struggling up the hills on arrival, past the many beggars asking for change (my response: “Real change comes from within”) and wondering if my hostel, being in between the Tenderloin and Nob Hill areas, was in the Tender Nob district (it wasn’t), the first thing I did was a tour of the city which was a good way to get my bearings and see the posh area of Pacific Heights, the trendy area of Haight/Ashbury, the Castro (not a Cuban community, but the gay district – I wore an all in one rainbow outfit for the occasion), not forgetting the Golden Gate Bridge and Park, the Palace of Fine Arts, Chinatown and Little Italy (every city has these!) and capping it all off with a view of the city from atop Twin Peaks. Continue reading →

Around The World Trip: USA (part 1)

Americans – don’t ya just love ’em? After the bad weather and less than tourist-friendly attitude in the Cook Islands (someone told me that a between islands flight they were on was delayed because the pilot was having his lunch!), I’m now in the home of mass consumerism, starting with Los Angeles, which translates as ‘The Smog’ if my Spanish is up to scratch.

While I’m venting my spleen… what is the point of those stupid US visa entry forms?! My own favourite questions were:

‘Are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?’ Well, hopefully in Las Vegas; and

‘Have you ever or are you now involved in terrorist activities or genocide?’ So if you state ‘No’ and they find out that you are a war criminal, are they then going to say: ‘Not only have you killed all those people, but you sir ARE A LIAR!’ Pointless. Continue reading →