It had been a while since I’d seen my oldest mate, so I was willing to go out wherever he wanted when he visited me for the weekend in London just before Christmas. He’s the same age as me but married with kids and envies my freedom, as you would if the nearest you came to late night action is answering a 2am call from a little person who thinks he’s seen the bogeyman and wants to sleep with the light on. Or between mummy and daddy in their bed.

Being a serious clubber in his heyday, of the dancing badly variety rather than the baby seal killing type, my buddy was adamant that we should re-live our youth and visit a hard house dance club. Okay... I promised to look for some white gloves and glowsticks, Continue reading →

Consecotaleophobia is a problem that is not be sniffed at and there is no need to suffer in silence. It is just as serious as arithmophobia (fear of numbers), syngenesophobia (fear of relatives – depends on your family, I guess), but maybe more serious than hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (fear of long words) or phobophobia (fear of phobias). Am I the only person who cringes at the thought of visiting a Chinese or Japanese restaurant and having to use chopsticks? I’m a lover of new inventions and, in my mind, a knife and fork are inventions that should supersede chopsticks. It’s the natural evolution, just like VHS – DVD – Blu-ray – 3D. Sure, our oriental friends gave it a good go, but how the hell am I supposed to learn how to use sticks to eat with before my food goes cold? How come other people can use those things? They must have practiced in their own time damn it, they’re just showing off. Continue reading →