I’m frequently amazed at how some people are so desperate to keep up with fashion trends that they will adopt pretty much any style in an effort to look cool. Even if that paradoxically means looking ridiculous. Who would have thought that mullets could ever be a wise choice of hairstyle? For those men who can’t decide whether to have short or long hair, so choose both at the same time. And what’s with the 1980s obsession recently in UK fashion? I’m just about old enough to remember that I hated that decade the first time around.

I’m not a fan of all the animal-print designs that girls are currently wearing. Last time I went out for a drink, there were so many leopard prints and zebra prints on display that I thought I’d walked in to a game reserve! These same girls would undoubtedly have laughed a couple of years ago if you had suggested they would ever dress like big cats.

And with good reason, for their ’80s predecessors are hardly fashion icons. Take this icon of the small screen:

Yes, it’s Pat Butcher from the BBC’s Eastenders! No matter how attractive the girl is, I can’t help but think of her morphing into Pat Butcher before my eyes. Hilarious. Another fashion I simply can’t understand, is jumpsuits. Not only do they look like adult romper suits, but they also have hideously garish designs, such as this:

Again, jumpsuits were always associated with this TV personality of the 1980s:

Remember Anneka Rice?

I see also that some girls are valiantly trying to bring shoulder pads back into fashion. Maybe this is in fact a genius plan to get served quicker at the bar. A quick drop of the shoulder and you can barge your way through the crowd. Hmm, maybe there’s something in that!

Mine's a pint!

In my opinion, these fashions should be combined and worn proudly – leopard print jumpsuit with shoulder pads. That’s some statement. Also, can someone explain to me how it is now somehow cool to wear geeky glasses? Well if it’s okay for Madonna…

I can’t look at Madonna in this picture without wondering if she has another pair of glasses with a fake nose and moustache attached… Also, why have weird hairstyles suddenly started appearing? Short back and sides and as much as possible on top!

I know I’m not the most trendy person out there. I just wear whatever I like, regardless of whether it’s in fashion or not. But really, is it so important to follow fashion to such a degree? Why not have your own style instead of being like sheep? And don’t even get me started on those who wear trousers halfway down their butt…

Just don’t…