Just Too Obvious

“Oh my God… he just asked me if I wanted to go for a drink. He’s just too obvious!” So says the excitable twentysomething to her closest friend. Well, the police didn’t like it when I waited outside your house to ‘accidentally’ bump into you. And you screamed when I sprang from the back seat of your car with a bottle of wine and two glasses. So what’s a guy got to do to get date these days?

Call me old-fashioned if you will, but what ever happened to the days of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out to share a glass or three of bubbly alcoholic liquid? Am I now supposed to believe that this transparent declaration of interest belongs in a bygone era? If what this girl says is now the widely accepted belief, then I guess that I can stop wondering where I have been going wrong.

There will now follow a period of enlightenment. My behaviour will change from rational and logical interaction with the fairer sex to increasingly confusing and erratic interplay, as I seek to find ways to ask girls out without actually asking the question. Hell, I wouldn’t want them to realise that I might be attracted to them. Much better to engage in skillful subterfuge that will somehow manoeuvre them into position on a bar stool coincidently next to where I am sitting, casually reading the newspaper with a spare gin and tonic that must have been poured by mistake. What are the chances? Well, no point in letting it go to waste.

Of course I jest. I realise that no girl wants to be asked out within minutes of meeting a man who makes clear his intentions with his wandering eyes and drooling tendency. A man who you intuitively feel that, although he is asking the right questions, he is not really listening to your answers as he mentally undresses you with his eyes. You have no way of knowing for sure, but you hope that your icy stare will transmit your desire for him to stop doing that eye undressing thing will you?

I suggest a fair compromise. Single men should retract their shark fins and make the effort to get to know girls a little before suggesting that this encounter should be continued on another evening over a Babycham in a darkened bar. And single ladies should perhaps remove some of the obstacles that they have erected, if not fortified in some cases, to block the path to their affections. Why make him work for it?

There’s no point making the pre-date small talk into a dating disaster. Save that for the actual dates!

20 thoughts on “Just Too Obvious

  1. I feel your pain, but can’t offer any advice. Any coherent thought is impossible with that incredibly unsettling picture staring me in the face. He was obviously the inspiration for “The Creep” by The Lonely Island.

  2. Guys should work on it, even for just a little bit…. not doing so makes the guy looks like a player or a skirt chaser. there are still a lot of girls who long for the good old fashioned ways. ^o^

    • I’m sure most girls are not like this girl, which is why I found her comment to be silly!

  3. Please – men of this world – keep going with a direct approach. Dating is complicated enough as it is. I have been finding myself “out” with a person, wondering “is this a date or a non-date”, so making intentions clear is quite helpful. I guess I am old-fashioned as well, but I think that just makes life more clear and less vague…..

  4. I see you are channeling your inner Alan Partridge with that flash photo up there. Who could resist? Gosh, dating sounds like so much hard work!

  5. According to my 30-something daughter, people do not actually date anymore. That might be where you are going wrong! People go out in groups of friends, a mix of boys and girls and after some time maybe a couple will pair off. There is no asking out on dates or anything like in the “old days”.

    So you need to find yourself a large group of 20-something single people. If you are 30-something, I think you are done for!

  6. I think there’s a thing going on called courting through text. You text each other a couple of thousand times and when you hit the 5k mark that means it’s a go …

  7. Haha. You are right, this girl is one of the rare cases. I think I speak for the majority of us single, early 20-somethings when I say we like to be asked out. Period. If we are interested, then that’s it, easy as that. We’ll go on a date. If not, we should be mature enough to say that too. Why complicate things? I like to KISS – Keep it simple, stupid!

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