“What a beauty. It’s a top of the range model with enough room for three chicks“
After the well publicised ‘drought’ of the previous 18 months, the UK has recently been experiencing what can only be referred to as payback. Quicker than you can say “fix the leaks you profit-guarding water fascists” we’ve experienced the highest amount of rainfall recorded, since Noah had the foresight to build an ark and float around for a while. And that’s a fact.
During these last couple of months I have noticed a new phenomenon whilst frantically trying to shield myself from the inclement weather, wondering why my £5 pop-up umbrella isn’t wind-proof, and also seems to be porous. There seem to be many men, Continue reading
This week saw the television appearance of Emer O’Toole, a young lady who has decided not to shave her body hair; going against what she sees as unfair cultural expectations for women. Apparently, she stopped shaving as an ‘experiment’ and stuck with it.
I have a number of issues with this story, over and above the obvious cultural norms debate. Firstly, I’m not sure how refraining from doing something that will lead to inevitable consequences can be termed as an ‘experiment’. It’s a bit like going on hunger strike in an experiment to see if you will lose weight.
Secondly, how the hell was this woman booked for a TV show? Does she have an agent, or did they place an ad somewhere? Or maybe her hairy body has given her notoriety in her home town,or she was pro-active and contacted the producers herself in an effort to seek fame. The mind boggles. Continue reading
In the news this week it was reported that the coming months will see the latest fashion trend of fruit and vegetable print dresses. Now, I’m not the most fashion conscious of people I must admit, but the prospect of seeing women walking down the road dressed like a display from a greengrocer’s did make me raise an eyebrow.
But it seems that it is something that we may have to get used to. Here are some designs available soon from the trendiest retailers:
Freshly grown in her allotment
What is it with so-called ‘metrosexuals’? For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term it is not, as you may think, people who are sexually aroused whilst travelling on the paris subway network. It does in fact refer to men whose displays are stereotypicallyassociated with homosexual men (such as a strong concern for appearance), although they are not homosexual, according to the font of all knowledge, Wikipedia. Apparently a metrosexual’s sexual orientation is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. So there you have it. Call me old-fashioned but what use is a person who exudes such vanity?
In heterosexual culture, what is wrong with a man being a man and a woman being a woman, in the more traditional sense? I’m not suggesting a throwback to the roles and values of the 1950s, when ladies were expected to ride horses side-saddle and men were so masculine that they had to shave twice a day. I just think that metrosexuals have got it all wrong. Continue reading
Tattoos… you either love or hate ‘em it seems. Maybe it seemed a good idea when you were drunk to have a ‘W’ tattooed on each butt-cheek so that when you bend over it reads ‘WOW’ but the chances are that you’re not so sure in the cold light of day. And is it ever a good idea to permanently mark your skin with the name of a partner, because you’re so in love? Get a puppy or something! Then once you split up it will be a comfort to whoever is left as its owner. But it won’t last forever to remind you of your sad mistake.
It’s not that I don’t understand the attraction of having a really unique, well designed tattoo. Hell, I even understand (kind of) that some people may get off on the pain of the needle. And clearly, many people love the attention that their tattoos give them. Why else would you tattoo a teardrop on your face? Oh right, to show that you are sensitive? Aah, bless your little cotton socks. Continue reading
I’m frequently amazed at how some people are so desperate to keep up with fashion trends that they will adopt pretty much any style in an effort to look cool. Even if that paradoxically means looking ridiculous. Who would have thought that mullets could ever be a wise choice of hairstyle? For those men who can’t decide whether to have short or long hair, so choose both at the same time. And what’s with the 1980s obsession recently in UK fashion? I’m just about old enough to remember that I hated that decade the first time around.
I’m not a fan of all the animal-print designs that girls are currently wearing. Last time I went out for a drink, there were so many leopard prints and zebra prints on display that I thought I’d walked in to a game reserve! These same girls would undoubtedly have laughed a couple of years ago if you had suggested they would ever dress like big cats.