Royal Wedding Early Morning Report

They obviously had nothing better to do

From: gustavfluffy@hotmail.co.uk
To: stewie
Subject: I come to Royals wedding so we fight
Date: Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:29:01

Stewie

I come to Landon and we meet in streets and fight for love of wife woman of mine.

Send me adress for you.

Gustav

Him again?! Give me a break… The day before The Royal Wedding TM and Gustav still wants a fight, but no matter, as there are more pressing concerns. Due to security measures that are even tighter than for the Pope visit last year, a group of my colleagues and I chose to sleep overnight in the office, faced with an early morning lockdown.

The crowds really started to build around Westminster Abbey from Thursday morning, joining the over enthusiastic souls who, for some reason, had felt the need to camp since Tuesday. Honestly, there was room along the route if you wanted to come along in the morning! And who could blame them for wanting to witness the most famous celebrity wedding on this date since the marriage of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun. I’m not making that up, it really was on the 29th April 1945!

There were enough oddballs in the crowd to alleviate the boredom somewhat – two girls dressed as bridesmaids who thought that they could save a spot next to the Abbey doors… they couldn’t. Plus there was also a woman wearing a wedding dress. Maybe she was planning to make a desperate run for it to persuade William that she is the one… She really wasn’t. We were also treated to an appearance by three town criers. They had clearly been in the pub all afternoon and when they spotted us on our balcony, they serenaded us before rining their bells and shouting for three cheers for William and Kate. At least they are happy drunks.

There was the occasional celebrity visit or television crew mixing with the spectators. Australia’s own ‘princess’, Dame Edna Everage made an appearance which was well received, albeit with some rather strange reactions. One lady stroked Dame Edna’s tasselled shoulder as ‘she’ walked past, saying “Alright gorgeous?” Get real, it’s a man in drag…

The main road was bumper-to-bumper until late into the night as people with nothing better to do sought to get a piece of the action. My decision to sleep in the office suddenly seemed like a bad idea. The constant crowd noise and flashes from cameras made sleep a tad difficult. Before we knew it, it was time to get up. At 4.30am.

This was made worse by some over-enthusiastic, attention seeking bitches that came bounding up the stairs. However, as these police dogs were loveable mutts, I could easily forgive them. The first security breach occurred early. One of the policemen actually wedged our front door open. Our security guard was one of the next people to arrive. It’s fair to say that he wasn’t amused with the lapse.

After everyone in our building was rounded up and made to walk through security arches, including cameramen from NBC and Getty Images, we returned to our balconies to wait for the guests to arrive, with a mere 5 hours to go before the bride arrived… But at least we can amuse ourselves by waving to BBC cameras and then running inside to watch ourselves – there is a 5 second delay, which causes unlimited amusement!

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